


Hey Bartender

by politebotanist



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, I'M GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT, jerky siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9508805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politebotanist/pseuds/politebotanist
Summary: "He puts his hand up on his forehead, succeeding at blocking a bit of light. Squinting against the sun, he tries to read the sign. “What the hell do you think that means?”“What? Refuge, or ‘By Their Sacrifice Our Town is Made Safe’?”“The second one, jackass.” Rowan turns his head over his shoulder as he and Antonia walk away from the sign and into Refuge, the rustic town in the center of the Woven Gulch. It was still another couple days trip into Neverwinter- what was an evening in Refuge?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> set between the end of The Eleventh Hour and The Suffering Game

He puts his hand up on his forehead, succeeding at blocking a bit of light. Squinting against the sun, he tries to read the sign. “What the hell do you think that means?”

  
“What? Refuge, or ‘By Their Sacrifice Our Town is Made Safe’?”

  
“The second one, jackass.” Rowan turns his head over his shoulder as he and Antonia walk away from the sign and into Refuge, the rustic town in the center of the Woven Gulch. It was still another couple days trip into Neverwinter- what was an evening in Refuge?

“Hey, isn’t that like a mining thing?” Antonia pushes in the saloon double doors with both hands and lets them swing because let’s be honest she is the cooler of the of the dried meat duo, and she made it look dope as hell. “Yeah, I think so,” Rowan says as he follows shortly behind. He keeps explaining while giving the establishment a once over as they pull up two stools at the bar. “I think it’s just the kind of lamp miners use. I am also very often wrong.” They both sit down, the slight scraping of wooden barstool legs against wooden floor boards grabbing the attention of the bartender behind the counter.

A dark elf woman was standing on the other side of the bar, her back facing her latest patrons. She wore a white button-up shirt, folded to just above the elbows and a black waistcoat with silver pinstripes. The waistcoats ties were held together in a bow at the small of her back, bringing accent to her slim figure. She was mixing a drink and began speaking to them while doing so, and without turning around.

“Yeah, it’s the lamp the miners use. It’s a wick lamp, but it’s covered by a cage of mesh- they were developed for flammable environments.” She then takes the two cocktails to the adjacent end of the bar to two miners “You live in a mining town long enough, you pick up a thing or two.”

The dark elf on the other side of the bar turns around not in a hurry, but with enough speed and weight behind it to give her sleek bob a swish around her face before settling back above her shoulders. She sets both elbows on the counter, a slight bend at her hips, a glass in one hand and drying rag in the other. Her ears lay back a little as she flashes them both a glance and asymmetric grin sets in, “And what can I get the two of you?”

“Honestly, I’d just really love some ice water, thank you,” Rowan turns toward Antonia as she orders. “Umm…” she looks at him, and then at the bartender, “Arnold Palmer, dirty?” The elf across from her nods and her smile deepens. “Yeah, alright, I like it. Now did you two end up in Refuge for business or pleasure?”

“Oh, we’re actually on our way to Neverwinter for a job. I’m Antonia, this is my brother, Rowan,” Rowan gives a nod and a smile as he’s handed a glass of water.

“The pleasure’s mine. What is it you guys do?” She asks Antonia mid-sip.

Antonia swallows as not to keep her waiting and seem rude, “We’re escorts.” The elf’s ears and brows lift in unison- it’s not a lot of movement but it’s certainly enough. Antonia blushes like a fat girl at a free dance, “Oh, oh, oh oh no! Like body guards! Not like, sexy escorts,” Antonia’s still panicked and embarrassed when Rowan shoots her a look and says to the both of them with a tip of his glass, “But the night is young.” Antonia looks back at their bartender, mouth agape, but she just giggles as she moves a few mixed drinks from the counter onto a tray to move them. She keeps giggling as she walks away. “By the way,” she says over her shoulder, placing the glasses on a table across the room, “I’m Ren. That’ll be two small diamonds, just by the way.”

Antonia’s face drops, “Oh, oh no. Diamonds? Diamonds? No, I’m sorry we don’t have any diamonds.” Rowan gestures to his entire person, “Yeah, this is not a man who has diamonds. This isn’t the kind of guy who even knows a guy who could pretend he left his special diamond wallet in his other jacket.” Ren laughs at that- and it’s like, a really cute laugh. The best laughs people have are when they aren’t expecting something to make them laugh. “ Don’t sweat it,” she says, head still turned over her shoulder as she goes to fix as few drinks,”It’s on the house.” She winks at Antonia just before that same swish of her hair follows her eyes away. Antonia smiles, and thinks how glad she is Ren is turned around before she can see that same blush return.

\- - -

Antonia, Ren, and Rowan are the only ones left in the bar a few hours later. The piano has since stopped playing, chairs have been stacked on tables, and while the glasses have all been washed, dried, and put away, no one would need to see the accumulated empty glasses to realizes that the better ⅔ of the bunch are well past tipsy anyhow. They are all in various stages of near-fatal fits of laughter. I think Rowan was telling that joke he has about Fantasy Tre Cool’s one testicle. However, being a bit too sober and long since past his bedtime for these kinds of shenanigans, he stands up, pushing his stool back. “Anything past 8:30 pm is late for me. Ren, thank you so much for letting us stay here tonight, really.” She hands him the key to the room upstairs. “Oh, you are more than welcome,” she says, wiping a tear of laughter away from underneath her eye. He kisses Antonia on top of the head and ruffles her hair as he heads in for the night.

Ren and Antonia look at each other now with expressions softened by laughter and liquor and the proximity of Ren leaning deep and lazily onto the bar. She had pulled a stool behind earlier to sit on once the rest of the patrons had left and she was doing dishes; her chin sat on her fingers, laced underneath her head like a hammock. They both just kept smiling and giggling at each other for a minute, neither one particularly too worried about finding something significant to say. Ren eventually spoke up.

“Wanna see something fun and silly and stupid?” She raised one eyebrow (because she was cool and could do that). Antonia was on board. “Oh hell yes,” she said. Ren stood up and walked around the bar and over to the table closest to Antonia. Antonia’s staff and Ren’s magic rod lay on top of it from earlier when the gang was half comparing magic wooden items, half making dick jokes. I mean, it was probably half and half; maybe 40/60, but who was counting. She grabbed her rod and head back behind the bar again, crouching and fiddling with something that Antonia couldn’t see.

Ren stood in what could have been a stance that probably could have been pretty lethal had she wanted it to be, but instead was more out of habit and convenience towards whatever the hell it was she was presenting to Antonia. She was standing what could have been described close to a fudo dachi in karate, or en garde in basic fencing- but again, this time in no way threatening. Her rod was in the hand closest to Antonia. “Okay, count to three for me,” she smiled at her.

“One,” Antonia was watching as Ren moved the rod once about a foot up, slightly above her head, and then back down again to about six inches from Antonia’s face, around nose level. “Two,” Ren repeated the motion. “...Three.” This time, when she brought the rod down, fake flowers looking like they’d come out of the wand of a birthday magician whose yelp reviews you hadn’t checked emanated in front of the rod!

Antonia began laughing with such force that she slid off of her stool onto the ground below, and then kept laughing even harder. As soon as Antonia fell, Ren jumped over the counter and bent slightly over Antonia, offering a hand. She tried to get her shit together, and did so enough that she slid her hand into Ren’s; but after Ren had helped to lift her about a foot off the floor, she burst into another fit of laughter that brought Ren down with her this time. She fell over Antonia as they both thudded to the floor of the bar.

They laid there for a minute, laughing and laughing. Every time one was composed enough to look at the other, the hysterics would start up again. While tears gathered around the corners of Antonia’s eyes, Ren managed to prop herself up halfway on one arm. With her other hand, she reached over to Antonia, wiping the tear down and away from the right side of her face. Antonia held on to Ren’s hand with hers, supporting herself through the last of the giggles. Neither of them pulled away.

Antonia looked over at the right side of her face, at the hand on her cheek, the hand underneath hers; she looked up at Ren, who’d been looking at her this whole time. Their eyes met, and their expressions soft and pensive. Ren looked down at Antonia’s mouth and back up into her eyes. Antonia did the same, but by the time she was making eye contact with Ren, she was leaning into Antonia, who was still laying on the bar floor.

As she leaned in closer, Antonia squeezed her hand around Ren’s a little tighter; she closed her eyes and pursed her lips just enough because by the time she had thought to do so, Ren’s were already there. They both just kind of kissed like that for a second, not really moving a lot, just enjoying a very first kiss sort of first kiss. Ren pulled back and used her hand to tilt Antonia’s chin up. They looked at each other. “Is this okay?” Ren asked seriously.

Antonia thought on it for a second, just to be sure. “Yes,” she said, as she sat up to meet Ren again.

She sat up further until she was actually sitting, using the range of motion to wrap her other hand back into Ren’s soft, straight hair. As locks of hair worked their way in between each of Antonia’s fingers, she used her palm to push just marginally harder into the kiss. Now Antonia didn’t usually kiss a whole lot of girls and all she could think right now was???? She should change that because this is fucking awesome. She kissed a little harder, and opened her mouth just a little, while Ren’s fingers worked their way through Antonia’s long, purple hair, fingering through the waves that had been left by the french braid it was in hours before. They kissed like teenagers who’d just discovered what kissing was and finally figured out what all the hype was about. They kissed like they were making up for lost time. They kissed and they absolutely lost track of time.

\- - -

“What?”

“What what?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Antonia furrowed her brow and darted her eyes. She was a grown up. She didn’t need this shit, especially not from her younger brother.

“I’m only looking at you like that because I’m not used to seeing you with hickeys like that, that’s all.” Rowan threw his arms up and smiled playfully at her. But I mean, in Rowan’s defense, there was a part of her neck about the size of a half dollar that was basically color coordinated with her hair.

Antonia threw a hand up to her neck to cover the bruise and blushed dark red, but didn’t actually have much ground to stand on. She very quickly gave up pretending to be all that mad, and smiled at him instead. He pined up for a high five, and with the hand not currently covering her hickey, she simply couldn’t leave him hanging. “Oh shut the fuck up, you’ve had worse,” she said at her brother, only barely as a real comeback. Rowan shrugged, “Tru.”

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed downstairs and Ren was coming up. She gave him an awkward smile but Rowan gave her his trademarked “all is well” triple shoulder squeeze and a big damn hug before he squeezed down the stairwell past her.

“You guys taking off?” she asked Antonia who was just gathering the last of their things. Antonia paused packing and turned around to look at Ren. “Yeah, we’ve got to head on to Neverwinter.” They both were silent for a moment, looking at the ground. Antonia picked up, “Ren, thank you so much for everything. We really appreciate it. I mean I probably do more than Rowan,” Ren did another one of those “I wasn’t expecting to laugh” laughs.

“Well, if you’re ever passing through again, you know where to find me,” Ren smiled at Antonia so sweetly it could have given you a cavity. Antonia placed a hand on Ren’s cheek and gave her one quick kiss good-bye.

Some time later as Ren went downstairs to open up shop she found jerky and a small note on the bar, “Best wishes, Rowan & Antonia xxx”

Signed with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Epilogue: Antonia punches Taako in the face just like so much. She punches him so much and so good. Like holy shit that's some Taako punching. 
> 
> My twitter is @politebotanist and my tumblr is @gayward-vagabond. Let me know if you like it or if you'd want to see more of stuff like this.  
> \- R.


End file.
